Huge things have happened. Huge!

Thursday: I took Friday off, and nobody was around, so I decided to head to Lyle's for a beer just to get out of the house. While there, I ran into Jesse, Emily's ex-ex boyfriend of 5 years. Most that read my journal know all too well who Emily is, and if you don't, go here.The entries aren't in chronological order, but you'll get some idea of who she is. Most people are probably physically sick from hearing about it, but read anyhow.

Anyhow, Jesse said that he was going to see Martin Zeller do his Neil Diamond tribute at the Fine Line on Friday, and that I should meet up with him down there. Seeing as how Jon is the biggest Neil freak, I told him that we'd be down there for sure.

Friday: Jon met up with me at the Refuge and we walked down to the Fine Line and immediately ran into Jesse and his friend, Justin. Jesse and I talked a little about how we both know exactly what kind of person Emily is, and why she'll have an impossible time committing to anyone. She's the type of person that can command a room without even trying, and she makes you feel like she's genuinely interested.Then he told me what I'd already suspected- Emily is seeing someone, and has been for the last 4 months. "So, that's why she doesn't talk to me anymore!", I replied. Jesse said that her new guy is a complete tool, so that made me feel a little better. See, if she isn't going to want to be with someone that would've done anything for her, she deserves to be with someone sub-par.

Right at this moment, Jesse got a call on his cell. Turns out that Emily was at the Local, on Nicollet, about 5 blocks from where I was.

Holy.Fuck.

Jesse and Justin left to meet up with her, and as they were walking down 1st Avenue, I gave them a 2 minute head start, and nobody could've forced me to stay in that club. My tubby friend, Jonah, couldn't have held me there, even if he sat on me. While they were walking one way, I walked down 3rd Street, to Nicollet, and then down Nicollet. Saying I walked is the biggest understatement. I fucking ran, fullspeed, in flip-flops, leaving Jon behind singing along to someone singing along to Neil Diamond. I didn't want Jesse to beat me there, and I wasn't about to let my one opportunity to finally get answers about why she decided to slight me to such a degree that she has. I'm surprised she didn't hear me coming, considering I was clip-clopping louder than a horse on a cobblestone street.

I stopped short of the door, inhaled deeply, then let out slowly, trying to get my bearings straight, having absolutely no idea what I was going to say when I ran into her. I had blinders on while walking into The Local, and the only person that mattered in that pub was Emily, and I. I made a quick loop around the bar, scanning left and right so as to not to miss her. Fuck, where was she? I made it all the way around once, and was just about to start a second lap, and there she was. She was walking towards me, looking back over her shoulder while talking to one of her friends. She didn't see me and this couldn't have made for any more of a dramatic, movie style reunion. She turned around, and the first thing she saw was me. Me and my devastated facial expression. She had the look of fear on her face. A face that said "Oh...my fucking...God, I can't even believe this is happening." If I'd gotten anything less, I would've told her to fuck off, and walked away.

Her and I talked about why she's been avoiding me, and you know, I got the impression that I was being lied to. Perhaps she was being sincere, but in the pissed off, "what's your problem?", sort of mindset, even Mother Theresa would've tripped my internal lie detector. And she's dead! She said that wanted to be my friend, and that's fine with me. I don't need to look at something like Ireland as being the biggest mistake of my life. She agreed, but I very bluntly told her that if that's to happen, she needs to stop being a shady asshole. All I asked for is a little respect, and honesty, and the way she's been the last 4 months, she's been nothing but disrespectful to me, and I do not deserve it. I made Banoffee for her, for fuck's sake!

Sitting out on a rock on Nicollet, her and I talked a little more, and she asked for a hug. To which I replied "Well, I'll give you one, but it's going to be half hearted and reluctant". The love invested in the hugs her and I shared in the past will more than likely never be there again because there's a scar that she's created in me, that drives a wedge between us.

I'm not going to go out of my way to try to save a dying friendship like in the past, and if I never talk to her again, at least I got the answers that I needed and in such a way that it'll always leave a permanent mark on her. I'm a pretty reasonable person, but if she'd just been honest with me in the first place, there would've been no reason for her to ever have to say "I'm sorry, Chad. I really am".